How to say those things you wish you could but just couldn't...

There are words that you cannot express sometimes to ones close to you. And when you try, they don't take kindly to them. They make you feel as though they do not care about you and that you do not matter to them. Not for a long time. 

No, by the way, this is NOT about my relationship, before anyone freaks out!! LOL

Anyways, they make you think that when they look at you, they wish you were someone else. That is more heartbreaking than anything in the world. And even when they say they love and they need you, you don't believe them. Because actions speak louder than words. And they make you feel as though you will never mean as much to them as they mean to themselves. Your problems do not matter to them, because they're problems are more important. And even when you try to help with those problems, because you still care, you still get hurt. I have been feeling this way for many many years. And today I am going to share a poem I wrote about it. 

This poem is called: Smile

Smile

By: Katie Civitelli

I smiled because I knew you loved me

I smiled because I knew you looked out for me

I smiled because I knew you would always be there for me

I smiled because you cared

I smiled because I still had you

I smiled because I wasn’t alone

I smiled because we would always have each other

I smiled because I cared

I smiled because not smiling caused problems

I smiled because if I did not I would cry

I smiled because sometimes we were good

I smiled because I had hope

I smiled because there was no choice

I smiled because I did not want to fight

I smiled because I had to

But now I smile no more