A New Day

June 10, 2022

A New Day

Good morning all -

I would like to start today off by saying that I absolutely could have gone back to sleep this morning by the way I am feeling and needing 2 cups of coffee. However, I did not and got myself up and out of bed regardless of feeling like I have not slept since last month.

After many recent obstacles happening around me the last few months or so, my friends and I came to the conclusion that I need to branch out and start trying to live my life to its fullest potential. We all do. Now, how does one go about doing this you ask? Well, for some it is finding their inner peace, going on an adventure, or simply diving into a new morning wellness routine. While these are all things that work well for people, I have noticed that sometimes it's difficult to start a new routine or "find inner peace" on a whim. I never stick to it and always end up feeling like a failure because of it.

So today, I made a decision to take baby steps toward feeling renewed. To learn patience with our puppy, who is finally starting to get through the teething phase, and patience with my partner and myself. I always see my shortcomings as a sign of weakness and then project them onto who I am speaking to in the current moment. Lack of sleep has not helped, however, I have been starting to feel as though the depressive episodes are creeping back in. Now, that's understandable with Father's Day coming up, my sister, Kim's birthday a few days before and the anniversary of my sister, Sarah. However, feeling these days and feelings is not a sign of weakness, but of love and strength. Harnessing those feelings and writing them into a book or jotting down notes or even speaking out loud to the Universe. These are all things that can push toward an inner peace; not keeping things bottled up inside. And focusing on the good things, as my partner likes to remind me. There are moments my heart breaks for him having to live with someone who can be erratic, who has depression and crippling anxiety, who has a complicated family life that preys on their own insecurities. It's a hard road for us to navigate and I think he's doing an amazing job considering everything.

So here are some good things:

- We have a lovely home after years of searching

- We have an adorable puppy who is relatively healthy (now that his parasite is gone)

- I have a happy and healthy kitty who has been my best pal for many years

- We are healthy and working toward being healthier

- We have steady jobs that keep our bills paid and a roof over our heads

- We can take vacations to our favorite places, which we are doing this year for the first time since 2019

- I have written and published not one but TWO books which is a dream come true and can officially say

- I am a published author

- We have family members and friends who love us and care about us

- And most importantly, we have each other

I challenge you today to think of three good things in your life right now and write them down. Put them in a jar or a journal and keep it tucked away until you need it. They can be as simple as you woke up and the sun was shining or you got a promotion or you just left your mentally debilitating job. Keep pushing toward the good things, as my sister, Stephanie, tells me all the time, as those are the things worth fighting for.