"Don't be so negative!!"
Have you ever had anyone come up to you and tell you, "Geez, don't be so negative," ? Well I certainly have. A lot of times our negative thoughts take up the forefront of our brains and we don't even know that we are doing it until it is pointed out to us. Being negative is not necessarily a "bad" thing, sometimes it is healthy to point out the obvious fact that life sometimes sucks and is not all roses and sunshine. Sometimes being negative brings you and others around you back down to reality. However, being TOO negative can have consequences.
We all have reasons as to why we have negative attitudes most of the time: my job sucks, my family is in turmoil, I am not a morning person, my medication is giving me bad side effects, nothing seems to be going right, etc. These are all very valid reasons to have a negative mindset. Don't ever think that it is not "OK" to be negative when you obviously feel like you're drowning, and do not let anyone belittle your feelings. Sometimes, it takes more energy to pretend that you are OK rather than actually tell someone that you are not. And that is why you must surround yourself with people and hobbies that are non-toxic and lift your spirits up when you, personally, cannot.
My reasons for writing this today are not only to lift up my friends and family who have been feeling like nothing is ever going to change, but also a rapid personal attitude change that has been noticeable to more than just myself. Over the course of my life, as most know, I have struggled with anxiety and depression. My depression is usually under control due to therapy and (even though many think this is cliché) keeping my faith; my anxiety, however, flip flops back and forth. I always have a heightened awareness to the things around me due to the fact that my brain always moves rapidly. My friend and I call it our "anxiety brain." However, over the past few years, my anxiety and depression seemed to be under control. I got a clean bill of mental health from my therapist, my Interstitial Cystitis pain had subsided substantially and is virtually unnoticeable, and I was finally going to settle into a permanent, full-time job after years of uncertainty. Life was good and my mind was clear. And then something happened.
I started a job, a really good job might I add, that was not even in the same ball park of what I wanted to be doing with my life. I was caught off guard by the duties I was to do at the office and the pressure made me crack. I cried every day for 3 weeks and I was too stressed out to even think straight. I lost about 15 pounds, basically stopped eating actual meals, had no energy and no desire to even get out of bed. My migraines happened more frequently and I noticed that something was just not right. I blamed it all on the stress of my job (which is part of the problem, I will admit). I felt like a failure and that I would never be settled in life. I am a big one for preaching about the power of positive thinking, and yet there was no desire in me to do that.
Three big indicators that something was out of the ordinary were: I was not excited for my next European vacation, I could not eat or drink ANYTHING without becoming extremely nauseous, and the things I did on an every day basis that made me happy just fell flat; I was just too tired. This couldn't all be because of a job. Sure it is a tough one and I go through many challenges at work every day, however, something was just not lining up.
And then it dawned on me. I started new medication a few weeks before I started my job. It was medication that I had taken for a long time, but it was a different brand and a much higher dose, something my body was not used to. I looked up the side effects of the medication and sure enough, everything that was happening to me was on that list. Now a lot of people will sit and tell you that side effect lists are like WebMD, of course you have everything on the list. But this time it was real. I sent the list to my mom and she even confirmed that what I was looking at was truth. The side effects were not going away, they were getting worse. Mix that with a stressful job situation and you're a ticking time bomb. So I had many people tell me, "Stop being so negative!" Which made me ask myself, "Why AM I being so negative?"
*Side note: Medication can be a great thing for many people; I am even on one that helps me live my days virtually pain free and I am grateful to it. Sure, would I like to be med free? Yes. But sometimes that is not how your body works. However, this time was different and I am so glad that I noticed what was going on. You know yourself and your body, but consult and talk to your doctor.
I am figuring it out and learning to trust my gut and know when something is not right. Everyone should do this; that is why positive thinking is so important. Social media is a big trigger for many people (including myself). You see other people living their best lives and as much as you express how happy you are for them and that they are successful, because you are happy for them, part of you feels inadequate in what you are doing in your own life. You are not where you thought you would be when people asked you as a kid what your life would be like. And for some reason, we always take that as a bad thing. We're always tired, we're stressed, we can barely afford our bills, and yet why can't we still be happy? There are plenty of people in the world that have less than what we take for granted and yet they are happier than the billionaires that walk around Beverly Hills. On that same note, my friends know I love the "hippie" culture more than a lot of things. Here is the true reason why I love them, not because of the sex and the drugs and the "free love,"...
I love them because they were so very lost, always trying to find a home, they didn't have it all together, and yet they were, mostly, the most loving and accepting people I have ever seen. They were happy. Sure they tended to go a little bit out of control sometimes LOL, but they were happy. And it was beautiful.
Nowadays there is so much negativity, not only in the world, but in our own heads, that we get lost in the noise and forget just who we are. So you aren't a multi-millionaire...so what? So you don't live in a huge house with 50 bathrooms...so what? You have dreams and love and where you are is not permanent. You are destined for great things, and great things will happen for you.
It is perfectly OK to be negative. Sometimes you just have to scream and admit that a situation sucks! But don't stay there. Because YOU are in control of your own happiness, only you. So acknowledge that something sucks or you feel like crap...but then pick yourself up, take a sip of that coffee and tell yourself, "I'm doing the best I can. And my best is good enough."
And don't forget to smile :)
We all have reasons as to why we have negative attitudes most of the time: my job sucks, my family is in turmoil, I am not a morning person, my medication is giving me bad side effects, nothing seems to be going right, etc. These are all very valid reasons to have a negative mindset. Don't ever think that it is not "OK" to be negative when you obviously feel like you're drowning, and do not let anyone belittle your feelings. Sometimes, it takes more energy to pretend that you are OK rather than actually tell someone that you are not. And that is why you must surround yourself with people and hobbies that are non-toxic and lift your spirits up when you, personally, cannot.
My reasons for writing this today are not only to lift up my friends and family who have been feeling like nothing is ever going to change, but also a rapid personal attitude change that has been noticeable to more than just myself. Over the course of my life, as most know, I have struggled with anxiety and depression. My depression is usually under control due to therapy and (even though many think this is cliché) keeping my faith; my anxiety, however, flip flops back and forth. I always have a heightened awareness to the things around me due to the fact that my brain always moves rapidly. My friend and I call it our "anxiety brain." However, over the past few years, my anxiety and depression seemed to be under control. I got a clean bill of mental health from my therapist, my Interstitial Cystitis pain had subsided substantially and is virtually unnoticeable, and I was finally going to settle into a permanent, full-time job after years of uncertainty. Life was good and my mind was clear. And then something happened.
I started a job, a really good job might I add, that was not even in the same ball park of what I wanted to be doing with my life. I was caught off guard by the duties I was to do at the office and the pressure made me crack. I cried every day for 3 weeks and I was too stressed out to even think straight. I lost about 15 pounds, basically stopped eating actual meals, had no energy and no desire to even get out of bed. My migraines happened more frequently and I noticed that something was just not right. I blamed it all on the stress of my job (which is part of the problem, I will admit). I felt like a failure and that I would never be settled in life. I am a big one for preaching about the power of positive thinking, and yet there was no desire in me to do that.
Three big indicators that something was out of the ordinary were: I was not excited for my next European vacation, I could not eat or drink ANYTHING without becoming extremely nauseous, and the things I did on an every day basis that made me happy just fell flat; I was just too tired. This couldn't all be because of a job. Sure it is a tough one and I go through many challenges at work every day, however, something was just not lining up.
And then it dawned on me. I started new medication a few weeks before I started my job. It was medication that I had taken for a long time, but it was a different brand and a much higher dose, something my body was not used to. I looked up the side effects of the medication and sure enough, everything that was happening to me was on that list. Now a lot of people will sit and tell you that side effect lists are like WebMD, of course you have everything on the list. But this time it was real. I sent the list to my mom and she even confirmed that what I was looking at was truth. The side effects were not going away, they were getting worse. Mix that with a stressful job situation and you're a ticking time bomb. So I had many people tell me, "Stop being so negative!" Which made me ask myself, "Why AM I being so negative?"
*Side note: Medication can be a great thing for many people; I am even on one that helps me live my days virtually pain free and I am grateful to it. Sure, would I like to be med free? Yes. But sometimes that is not how your body works. However, this time was different and I am so glad that I noticed what was going on. You know yourself and your body, but consult and talk to your doctor.
I am figuring it out and learning to trust my gut and know when something is not right. Everyone should do this; that is why positive thinking is so important. Social media is a big trigger for many people (including myself). You see other people living their best lives and as much as you express how happy you are for them and that they are successful, because you are happy for them, part of you feels inadequate in what you are doing in your own life. You are not where you thought you would be when people asked you as a kid what your life would be like. And for some reason, we always take that as a bad thing. We're always tired, we're stressed, we can barely afford our bills, and yet why can't we still be happy? There are plenty of people in the world that have less than what we take for granted and yet they are happier than the billionaires that walk around Beverly Hills. On that same note, my friends know I love the "hippie" culture more than a lot of things. Here is the true reason why I love them, not because of the sex and the drugs and the "free love,"...
I love them because they were so very lost, always trying to find a home, they didn't have it all together, and yet they were, mostly, the most loving and accepting people I have ever seen. They were happy. Sure they tended to go a little bit out of control sometimes LOL, but they were happy. And it was beautiful.
Nowadays there is so much negativity, not only in the world, but in our own heads, that we get lost in the noise and forget just who we are. So you aren't a multi-millionaire...so what? So you don't live in a huge house with 50 bathrooms...so what? You have dreams and love and where you are is not permanent. You are destined for great things, and great things will happen for you.
It is perfectly OK to be negative. Sometimes you just have to scream and admit that a situation sucks! But don't stay there. Because YOU are in control of your own happiness, only you. So acknowledge that something sucks or you feel like crap...but then pick yourself up, take a sip of that coffee and tell yourself, "I'm doing the best I can. And my best is good enough."
And don't forget to smile :)
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